Am I Being a Bully?

I was on Twitter over the weekend when I came across an article from Alfie Kohn (@alfiekohn), On Punishment for Bullying - and Punishment as Bullying. It was one of those articles that packed a punch, and this particular punch landed square in my stomach. The following statement from his article was the hardest hitter, and it left my mind spinning for hours.

"Maybe traditional punishment is a kind of bullying."

Did you catch that? Maybe traditional punishment (ie. taking away recess, making a student stay after school, as well as dismissals and suspension) is a kind of bullying. That statement alone set me back in my seat and all I could muster was a "whoa".

I should clarify that I have always struggled with my decisions as an administrator when it comes to consequences or punishment. In many administrative settings traditional punishment is a very common practice executed by administrators and teachers, and experienced by many students. But my decisions, although common, have challenged me as I've made them. So Mr. Kohn's article and his strong message challenged me personally and professionally.

Later on in the evening I was on a Twitter chat when a person made the following comment in response to whether or not we should be "controlling" use of social media outside of school.

"Why do we educate that there are only consequences outside of the K-12 world?"

As I my mind had already been moving a mile a minute from Mr. Kohn's article, I quickly responded with, "Our job isn't to teach consequences, or that they exist. Don't ignore issues, but use those moments for growth." In thinking it through a bit more, I would revise the statement a bit and say something to the effect of, “we can teach about consequences, but punitive responses to behavior is not the way in which we do that.” Mr. Kohn further supports my statement in his article when he shares that punishment is often not only ineffective but actively counterproductive. No matter the action, our decision as educators to punish in one way or another does not render the intended result and more than likely it spurs further complications. Our desire (recognized or not) to control scholar's behavior by means of punitive responses are not working and are hurting our scholars.

"Punishment is a response by someone in power (like an adult) to a prohibited action on the part of someone with less power (like a student)."

I read this and stepped back for a moment to evaluate who I am as an administrator and think about the scholars with whom I work. As an administrator I am a privileged, white male, with a graduate degree, who worked to a place of power in the educational system. Many of the scholars with whom I deal on a daily basis (especially when it comes to behavior) are black males who function in a system that often works against them. My self assessment and the understanding of my students left me spinning in thought.

Am I as a white administrator, punishing (ie. bullying) my African-American boys? And what kind of messages am I sending them when delivering that punishment?

My honest answer to the first question is... yes, I am. I am taking actions that fall under the definition of bullying, and I am doing so more often than I would like to admit. Mr. Kohn's article will stay with me through the entirety of the year and challenge me when I am using my position of power to manipulate or control the behavior of my scholars.

The answer to the second question is; their behavior is not modeling that of the community (the white community in particular) and therefore there is a punishment attached. When I respond to actions taken by young scholars with punishment, I am reinforcing the power and presence of white culture.

I'll close with another quote from the article, coming from Barbara Coloroso's (@BarbaraColoroso) book The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, "punishment degrades, humiliates, and dehumanizes the children who are its object. (Sounds a lot like bullying to me.)" When I as an administrator make the decision to take punitive action for a scholar's behavior, I am utilizing my power to inflict any and all of the things Ms. Coloroso mentions.

So where does that leave me? I can't say that suspensions are off the table, because I don't want to create an unrealistic goal for myself. My hope is that each time a scholar is sent to me, I concentrate more on the student and less on the behavior in an attempt to help the scholar grow and learn from their decisions. Our time as educators is best spent focusing on the scholar and their success, both now and in the future.

"Our focus must always be on building people up." ~ Dan Davis